Funny Wedding Vows

If you're getting married and you want to share your humorous side, you might consider using some funny wedding vows. For example, perhaps you could use the traditional vows, but include a line such as "I promise to always make your "favorite banana milkshake," or "I vow to split the difference on the thermostat," as Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston did when they married. Or, if you really want to make your guests laugh, consider writing a complete set of funny wedding vows, such as these inspired by Dr. Seuss.

Marty Blase, the author of these vows, writes: "My fiancee and I agreed a long time ago that we wanted to write our own wedding vows, and as a spur-of-the-moment idea, I suggested the following. To my disappointment, she didn't quite go for it..."

Pastor: Will you answer me right now
These questions, as your wedding vow?

Groom: Yes, I will answer right now
Your questions as my wedding vow.

Pastor: Will you take her as your wife?
Will you love her all your life?

Groom: Yes, I take her as my wife,
Yes, I'll love her all my life.

Pastor: Will you have, and also hold
Just as you have at this time told?

Groom: Yes, I will have, and I will hold,
Just as I have at this time told,
Yes, I will love her all my life
As I now take her as my wife.

Pastor: Will you love through good and bad?
Whether you're happy or sad?

Groom: Yes, I'll love through good and bad,
Whether we're happy or sad,
Yes, I will have and I will hold
Just as I have already told,
Yes, I will love her all my life,
Yes, I will take her as my wife!

Pastor: Will you love her if you're rich?
Or if you're poor, and in a ditch?

Groom: Yes, I'll love her if we're rich,
And I will love her in a ditch,
I'll love her through good times and bad,
Whether we are happy or sad,
Yes, I will have, and I will hold
(I could have sworn this has been told!)
I promise to love all my life
This woman, as my lawful wife!

Pastor: Will you love her when you're fit,
And also when you're feeling sick?
Groom: Yes, I'll love her when we're fit,
And when we're hurt, and when we're sick,
And I will love her when we're rich
And I will love her in a ditch
And I will love through good and bad,
And I will love when glad or sad,
And I will have, and I will hold
Ten years from now a thousandfold,
Yes, I will love for my whole life
This lovely woman as my wife!

Pastor: Will you love with all your heart?
Will you love till death you part?

Groom: Yes, I'll love with all my heart
From now until death do us part,
And I will love her when we're rich,
And when we're broke and in a ditch,
And when we're fit, and when we're sick,
(Oh, CAN'T we get this finished quick?)
And I will love through good and bad,
And I will love when glad or sad,
And I will have, and I will hold,
And if I might now be so bold,
I'll love her my entire life,
Yes, I WILL take her as my wife!

Pastor: Then if you'll take her as your wife,
And if you'll love her all your life,
And if you'll have, and if you'll hold,
From now until the stars grow cold,
And if you'll love through good and bad,
And whether you're happy or sad,
And love in sickness, and in health,
And when you're poor, and when in wealth,
And if you'll love with all your heart,
From now until death do you part,
Yes, if you'll love her through and through,
Please answer with these words:

Pastor and Groom: I DO!

Pastor: You're married now! So kiss the bride,
But please, do keep it dignified.

weddings.about.com

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Honeymoon Planning

One of the most fulfilling parts of planning a wedding is the traditional trip or resort get-away taken by newlyweds once the wedding is complete and allows the bride and groom time to complete the marriage. Many couples celebrate honeymoons in warm and romantic sea side locations, sunny beaches and exotic resort locations such Hawaii, Jamaica and Mexico, while some may start as mountain themed destination weddings.

For an engaged couple, planning the wedding ceremony and wedding reception are two very important items which must be tended to prior to the nuptials. In keeping with the planning for the big day, the couple must also decide what they are going to do in the way of a honeymoon. When planning the honeymoon, there are a few things which the couple should keep in mind in order to ensure that they choose the best resort location possible.

Time of Year

When looking into honeymoon destinations, it is important to keep in mind the time of year in which the couple will be going on their get-away. This enables them to consider factors such as weather, travel conditions and desired temperatures at their location. This will also help the couple to determine how much their honeymoon will cost as certain locations will cost more to stay during certain times of the year.

Financial Considerations

It is also important to keep in mind how much money can be spent on the honeymoon. There are a few different reasons why doing so is important. First and foremost, by having an idea as to what type of money the couple wishes to spend for a honeymoon this will enable them to know what locations they can travel to for their vacation. Secondly, this will save time by allowing them to narrow down their options and focus only on those destinations which are realistic in the way of monetary possibilities.

Climate Preference

The engaged couple who is planning their honeymoon should also have a climate preference in mind. Some couples like to spend their time on a beach while others prefer staying in a cabin and taking part in some skiing while they are honeymooning. Whatever the desired choice may be, it is important to agree on this factor prior to starting the search for the perfect destination.

Resort Preference

It is also wise to think about what type of resort or accommodations the couple is looking to spend their honeymoon within. One should view the different amenities that are available and room styles to determine if what each resort has fits their honeymoon desires and preferences.

All-Inclusive or Not

Lastly, couples need to determine whether they wish to book an all-inclusive honeymoon or if they prefer to complete their honeymoon in an a la carte manner. Certain resorts are strictly all-inclusive and include everything from alcoholic beverages to motorized water sports. This allows the couple to enjoy themselves without really having to consider spending money the entire time.

Conclusion

The previously mentioned items are just a few things which the future bride and groom should keep in mind while planning their honeymoon to ensure that the trip is simply perfect. Read More...

The Egyptian Wedding

By Dr. Maged El-Bialy

You may ask why am I writing an article about Egyptian weddings. You may think that an Egyptian wedding is like any other wedding, but I can assure you that an Egyptian wedding is a very special historical ceremony. It is the most important ceremony for Egyptian females. I am sure that there are certain rituals for marriage in many parts of the world but the Egyptian wedding ceremony has been carried on from generation to generation since the times of the Pharaohs. While there are many western aspects, the enthusiasm and grand festive atmosphere of an Egyptian wedding is simply amazing. 

The ancient Egyptians were the first civilization to regard marriage as a legal relationship. Marriage in ancient Egypt was a religious imposition. The ancient Egyptian laws organized the marriage relationship and indicated all rights and duties for the couples. Many of the old marriage contracts have been found, and they were registered and signed by three officers. The ancient Egyptian laws gave the right of divorce to women as well as men, and the wife had great respect and a high degree of prestige.

Before marriage in ancient Egypt, there were many chances for men and women to meet in places such as the temples or at the common feasts. There was a custom in the Egyptian family which allowed the adult daughter to welcome guests who came to visit her parents. Even today there remains in some parts of rural Egypt a custom that the eldest daughter is to marry before the youngest. The ancient Egyptians had an engagement period in order for the couple to become familiar with each other. The groom-to-be and his parents would go to the bride’s house and meet the head of the family. They would negotiate an agreement where the groom would pay a dowry and buy the bride a gift of precious stones or gold. On the day of the wedding there would be a great banquet where all the guests would eat, sing and dance. Then the bride and groom would be led to their home and on the way, green wheat would be tossed in the air as a symbol of fertility.

While time has altered modern Egyptian weddings, many of the traditions remain. Christian and Islamic custom now dictates that the official wedding must take place in a church or mosque. However, the reception after the official wedding remains much the same as in ancient Egypt.  Reception parties differ from place to place in Egypt but they all hold common features including singing, dancing, a banquet and a lot of guests. Most often the wealth of the family of the bride and groom dictates the number of guests invited to the reception.

Certain aspects of Egyptian weddings in urban cities are not unlike weddings anywhere in the the world.  The bride wears an ordinary bridal dress and the groom wears a black suit or a tuxedo. The ceremony starts with a car parade. The wedding car (as prestigious as possible) will be decorated with flowers and ribbons. Cars of both families move together in a noisy parade of continuous sounding of car horns to a wedding hall most often in a hotel. The honking is to announce that there is a wedding taking place. When the bride and groom reach the hotel they are received by a “Zaffa”. The Zaffa is another human parade of belly dancers and drummers surrounding the bride and groom, singing happy songs. The bride and groom will occasionally join in the dancing but the main aim is to walk as slowly as possible to the wedding hall. Some Zaffa’s will last an hour!

When the bride and groom finally reach the their destination in the hall they sit in the “Kosha”. The Kosha usually consists of two comfortable seats in front of the guests where the bride and groom reign as though king and queen. As soon as the bride and groom are seated in the Kosha a rose sherbet drink is passed to the guests and all drink to their health. Then the bride and groom will switch rings from right index fingers to left index finger. This is probably an old Christian tradition but it is done whether the couple is Moslem or Christian. With this ritual, the festivities begin. The bride and groom have the first dance after which the other wedding guests join in. Usually a belly dancer or a singer entertains the guests but in more luxurious weddings there is more than one entertainer. Guests will dance and sing with the newly wed couple, and the groom will occasionally be tossed in the air by friends.  The more the tossing of the groom the more his popular! After the formal entertainment, a disc jockey is used to extend the festivities. 

Then comes the cutting of the cake. As elsewhere in the world, the bride and groom cut the cake, which is several layers high. The bride then tosses her flower bouquet behind her back to other hopeful females. Who ever catches the bouquet is lucky because she will be next to marry. Next, the couple opens the buffet for the guests, which is usually a wide variety of salads, meats, stews, and sweets. Actually the list might go on forever in some weddings. Food is considered one of the factors that reflect the wealth of the families of the bride and groom. After every guest has “stuffed” his or her stomach, the wedding party is over. In some weddings there may be some more entertainment. Then the bride and groom usually get a complimentary night or two at the hotel.

Modern urban weddings are obviously affected by western traditions. For example, the cutting of the cake and tossing of the bouquet. This is not the case with rural areas of Egypt. In rural areas, after the Zaffa, the wedding ceremony will usually take place in a big clearing of land where a huge Arabic tent called the “Sewan” is set up. Entertainment includes a belly dancer or  singer and sometimes both. Drinks are passed to guests and food comes in huge plates to be served to guests. The customary food is “Fattah” which is pieces of lamb meat embedded in rice and bread dipped in stew. The bride and groom will leave the wedding early but the guests continue the festivities.

Whether rural or urban, weddings reflect the image of the families that have come together. Both families show off their wealth to their wedding guests. From this, it would be concluded that Egyptian weddings are not just an announcement of marriage but also an announcement of the economic positions of the families..

If you visit Egypt keep an eye out for weddings. In many seasons, there will be weddings almost every night in hotels such as the Nile Hilton. Do not hesitate to ask permission to join the wedding. I guarantee you that you will be welcomed. Sing, dance and enjoy the culture of Egypt. Read More...